Walking Up and Down...

It's amazing to me the things that we do for our children. I was never a morning person before Ryder, but now I get up at 2:30 am and 4:30 am and 6 am whether or not he does. I'm more concerned that he's happy, fed and smiling than I am about whether or not I'm showered and smell good *or at least not bad* I'm up until 11:30pm every night to make sure that he is sound asleep and still breathing.

The other night I laughed as Pat walked up and down the stairs for thirty minutes trying to get our sweet boy to sleep. Up and down, up and down...his thighs burning but he never stopped...we would climb any mountain for this tiny being that God has so blessed us with. Tonight, he's walking in the dark in the kitchen with Ryder, who is quiet but not asleep. He sings sweet lullabies to him and holds him close to his chest so that Ryder can feel safe and warm and hear his heart beat. He holds his breath just to change a dirty diaper (a smell which apparently disturbs him a lot).
Ryder has turned our worlds upside down, for the better. Though, Pat and I turned our family's worlds upside down with a single phone call about 9 months ago. I'm sure we were judged and looked down on, too from those who "knew us". But, even then I didn't care what other people thought. Pat and I went through so much to bring this little boy into our lives. I don't think God looks down on us...we've been forgiven because we've been saved. Christ walked up that hill with MY cross on his back so that I wouldn't have to carry it anymore. God was not freaking out because I had messed up His plan. He knew Ryder before he was conceived. He knew Ryder before I was conceived. His love and His power amaze me. That my God could love me enough to turn a hard situation (hard-not wrong) into something so amazing and bless me with such a beautiful baby boy is awe inspiring and I thank him everyday when I see that little boy look into my eyes or feel him wrap his little hand around my finger. When I think about how precious this gift is from God-the least I can do is walk up and down the stairs...