Grammy is HERE!!!

MY MOM CAME TO VISIT!!! I am so happy to have a familiar face around AND an ADULT to talk to haha. We picked her up Sunday night from the airport. She was sooo happy to see her first grandson:) She came from out of a crowd with her arms open ready to take Ryder in her arms.



It was so good to see her hold him again. She was just barely able to hold back tears. She couldn't believe how big he had gotten! 12 lbs 5oz. as of last week when we went to the doctor.

On Monday, my mom and I went to the mall and walked around with Ryder. We stopped by H&M and got me some clothes. It was so depressing to realize how much weight I gained during my pregnancy and how much weight I have not lost since then. I'm in a bit of a funk since that so I'm still wearing leggings/yoga pants and shirts.

I had an interview this morning with Buy Buy Baby. I think it went well but who knows. The district manager said they would call me back by mid week next week. I am so torn about it so I just prayed. If I am supposed to go back to work then God will open that door for me. If I need to be home with my baby boy as a stay at home mom, then that door will stay shut. If that's the case, I'm going to take classes to try and get into nursing school and an at home course to get certified as a wedding/event planner. We'll see (more prayers are welcome.)

Tonight, my mom babysat and gave me and Pat a gift card to go out to eat (what a deal!) We went to PF Changs for dinner. Pat had never had the lettuce wraps before!!!! Can you believe it?! Those are the only reason I go there!!!! I could eat them as my meal. Pat liked them, too. After dinner, hubby and I went to see "Horrible Bosses" It was HILARIOUS but definitely not a movie you go see with your grandmother haha. Pat and I laughed and laughed (and are still laughing). It was nice to get away and have a grown up conversation about something other than a baby, though we did miss him. But my mom loves just sitting and holding him and feeding him.

It is so nice to have her here to help me. It makes me miss my family so much. Sometimes, I wish I could go back in time. It's so strange to me that no matter how hard we try to slow things down, the world keeps on turning and we can't go back. Having Ryder makes me realize everything that my parents have done for me and the sacrifices they made for me, especially because of the Diabetes. I wish I could go back and treat them better than I did. But I can't. All I can do is apologize and change the future. It's amazing how a mommy and daddy, no matter what their children do, will always, unconditionally love their babies. And it's amazing to me that that kind of love is only a fraction of how much God loves us.
Anyway...tomorrow I am going to the gym because this is just another movie where Jennifer Anniston shows how amazingly gorgeous she is and I'm tired of not looking like that haha...diet and exercise....it's a lifestyle change...soooo, I'm on a mission...Mission Impossible hahaha im kidding--I WILL get healthier and lose weight/tone up....

1 Has a Cold...2 Can't Sleep

Poor Baby Bear has a cold:( Early Thursday morning, we had brought Ryder into bed with us. At 4am he woke me up with his squirming and couldn't breathe. My heart stopped and then I switched into SuperMom mode. I thought it was a bad dream at first and yelled at him to wake up (my yelling woke up Pat). Realizing he was awake and not dreaming I grabbed him up and flipped him over and stated hitting his back. This unlodged some mucus and I was able to suck it out with the bulb thing. Boy, he did not like that. Once he was able to breathe, he let out a huge shriek. It reminded me of the little high pitch yell when they pulled him out of me...but scarier this time. I sat in bed with him and justheld him close to me and cried. Pat asked if I was okay and if I wanted him to hold Ryder. I just couldn't let him go. I rocked him back to sleep and stayed up watching him.
Pat got up and got ready for work. I put Ryder in his swing and made Pat breakfast-constantly checking to see if Ryder was breathing. He was. Pat left at about 6:30 am and I picked upRyder and turned on the TV. He was stuffy and congested. I assumed it was just because he had cried and screamed for so long. It wasn't. The stuffiness got a little worse. I called the doctor and they wanted to see him right away-One Problem....I DONT HAVE A CAR. So we scheduled one for the next afternoon. I called Pat and he was able to leave work to come take us to the pediatrician. What a great hubby/daddy he is! We rescheduled and went to the doctor.
I was concerned about fluid being in his chest (since he was in the NICU for a week because of that) but the doctor said everything was clear. They checked his oxygen level. At first, it was only at 82%--Mommy almost had a panic attack. Another nurse came in and checked his levels on his wrist and it was 100%. So...we are just making sure to use a humidifier and saline/suction bulb. (He hates that) and watching him.
Today, my little man is doing much better. He made up yesterday for all the sleep he has missed since he started feeling bad and slept through the night again last night and is back on his schedule today. I AM SO RELIEVED.
Pat and I have also started to notice little brown hairs being left behind in Ryder's crib and in our bed. Baby Bear is becoming a Blonde Baby Bear :) In a way I am sad because I absolutely love him with brown hair. Thats MY baby. But I am very excited that he will have blonde hair like his mommy and daddy did. In pictures, it looks like he's balding but it's actually just little blonde hairs growing in:) His brown hair is actually blonde on the bottom half, too. It's so sweet.

Look at that sweet boy's smile:)

I finally recieved Ryder's cloth diapers in the mail two days ago! They are so cute, but I am still not sure if I am willing to commit to the work they involve for the blowout diapers. Maybe if I get a few more liners so I don't have to wash one everytime I change him. They are absolutely adorable, though. And so much softer on his skin than disposable. But, the disposable hold more "liquid". Ryder has a tendency to make his diapers "leak" within 30 minutes of changing him, so I have to use boosters in the cloth diapers. I'm thinking we might continue to use disposable but also use the cloth ones, too. Who knows, we just have to keep trying:)

BOGO FREE :)

The day started off slowly. It's the weekend so Pat let me sleep in and spent some quality father/son time with Ryder. Boy did I need the sleep.We hung around the house til about 3pm and then we went to the NEW...the BIG one. I brought the sling to put Ryder in because he absolutely loves it...yesterday we took a walk and he ended up taking a 3 hour nap in it. That's right...I wore my baby for 3.5 hours yesterday haha

Anyway...I digress...We walked in the home store-basically a large Wal-Mart with no taxes. We walked through the garden section. I'm looking for some ideas on what I can put in my "back yard". It's not much of a yard...mostly just a slab of concrete between our house and garage with mulch on either side. Regardless, it needs a few flowers/trees/plants to "spruce" it up (HAHA get it?) Pat and I also looked at some grills. I'm a believer in propane. I love that you can't taste what your cooking with. Pat is a charcoal user...we can't afford one right now so it doesn't really matter. But when we have some money saved I'm sure there will be a discussion had about what kind to get...we'll see what happens. There isn't really any room on our "back slab" to put a grill right now, either.
After that area, we went to the other NEX...which is like a big department store. Pat was looking for some beach chairs or lawn chairs that we could take to the pool with us. We got to the sporting goods right as an old man got the last 2 chairs...oh well...we don't really need to spend money on THOSE either. We walked around electronics (I want a Nikon D5100 and Pat wants a HUGE HD tv...neither of which we got haha) Still, it was fun to look at them. We did end up getting an "As Seen on TV" version of Gold's Gym at Home Circuit Training...Pat says he's going to use it. I decided to be honest and say I probably wouldn't haha. (Why work out when LIPO is easier? haha)

On the way home we stopped at In N Out Burger to see what all the fuss is about over them. I got a cheeseburger...it was alright. Definitely better than McDonald's but I'm a bigger fan of 5Guys. Their fries were not very good...but then again, I'm becoming less and less of a fry fan as I get older. Or maybe being pregnant has just changed my appettite.
We came home afterwards and ate and Pat settled down to play COD. I got ready and took Baby Bear to Babies R Us. I had a gift card from Michael and Kadie (THANK YOU!!!) and some coupons for Pampers limited edition prints. Little did I know about the amazing sale that was goind on. ALL of their Fischer Price toys for infants (birth to 24 months) were--get this-- BUY ONE GET ONE FREE!!!!!!!!! I had hit the jackpot. The sale was Friday and Saturday only so it was slim pickings by the time I got there but I was still able to find some SWEET DEALS. I got Ryder a little piano mat to put in his crib when he gets a little older AND a "Tummy Time Mat". I'm in love with it. It has a little mirror and a little ball you roll to play noises as well as some clip on toys. Ryder likes the colors but he is still a little young to figure out how to roll a ball AND make the association of that to the music that plays. Still, it's fun for me:)

This Week...

Well...We found out Casey Anthony was not guilty on the three most important counts of this case...I think we all know she had something to do with that baby dying but I guess the State just didnt prove beyond a reasonable doubt that she did...Can you even really do that with only circumstancial evidence?(did i spell that right?)  Anyway, the day the verdict came out, I just stayed in shocked all day...
Wednesday, Ryder had his 2 month doctor appointment. He usually naps around 10:30am to 2 or 2:30pm. His doctor appointment was at 11 am so he was already a little peeved about being bothered when all he wanted to do was sleep. I knew it was going to be a rough appointment because he had to get shots:( Thankfully, Pat was able to meet us for most of the appointment before he had to go back to work and fly...The doctor said Ryder looked great...he weighed 12 lbs 2 oz and was 23 inches long...they brought a sheet with all his percentiles and he was in the 50% so I was excited to find out that he wasn't as big for his age as I thought he was...I guess even though he eats a lot, his HUGE blow-out diapers are doing their job haha. Pat held him while I talked to the doctor and then she listened to his heart, checked his hips, etc...When the doctor left, Pat had to leave, too. When Pat walked out, Ryder started to get upset, I think he knew the nurse was about to come back in with shots...

The first was an oral vaccine, which was apparently not pleasant tasting, and then came 2 shots to my baby's tiny left thigh...Oh Em Gee...you woulda thought the world was ending...that poor baby was off kilter for the rest of the day...his face turned tomato red and he began to hold his breath because he just couldn't stand it...I finally got him to the truck (which Pat thankfully let me borrow and he took the bronco to work) and walked him to comfort him...he fell asleep when I started driving...I went to a nearby Target parking lot to feed him and Chelsea came and met me to go grocery shopping at VONS. He only fussed a little there and I was able to get what I needed. However, I didn't get infant Tylenol...BIG MISTAKE...Ryder and I got home and Chelsea helped me out by paying attention to him so i could unpack...when she left Ryder's leg really began to hurt...Pat got home and just held him...we finally got him to calm down and gave him some Tylenol but he hadn't really taken any of his naps all day and it was a rough night...
My sister-in-law convinced me, yesterday, to try cloth diapers. So, last night, I ordered a few on sale to try them out....I know they end up being cheaper, but Pat and I aren't sure we can put up enough for the initial investment. If we end up liking them, then we'll start building our supplies little by little. Our budget is REALLY tight with me not working so we're trying to be smart about everything. I'll be getting the diapers in the mail soon, so we'll see how it goes:)

"Turn Around Point"

I'm sitting here with my husband as he watches tv and feeds our son. The show he's watching featured a child walking up a mountain who had reached his "turn around point." When I heard that phrase, it made me think about everything we've been through. This process and experience has not been easy for him. He got a phone call in Hawai'i when he first started his deployment and learned he would be a father. A phone call for that news! a phone call! And after recieving that news, he couldn't come back to Alabama and go to the first ultrasound and "get use" to a growing child. He missed ultrasound after ultrasound and he missed feeling Ryder move so many times. When he finally did come back to Alabama it was because I was admitted into the hospital, for a second time, and we got married. One month later, he had a son. These are 2 HUGE things in life that men (and women) usually have time to adjust to. Heck, I had time to adjust to it, but Pat never got that. I know he's happy now but I can't help but wonder if there was ever a moment where he thought he had hit his turn around point. I don't know if he did or not, but regardless, he never turned around, he never ran away, and he stayed faithful when it would have been so easy to just leave or not come back. I am forever thankful to my loving husband. He has been so helpful through it all...even when he was all the way on the other side of the world. He is the best husband and is such a loving father, God has blessed me so much that I can't even begin to explain it all.
Anyway...this is the start of our ever after and we're loving every single minute of it...

Today In the Life of a Fry...

It's been a lazy day in the Fry casa. Pat woke up at 2:30 this morning to take care of Ryder and let me sleep. He woke up at 3:30, 4:30 and 6 am and just wanted to be held so I went and brought him in bed with us. We've just sat around and watched King of the Hill as a family. Ryder loves watching the tv. I guess the changing colors and lights fascinate him. He's been decently happy today. He's layed on his activity mat and stared at and played with the toys hanging off of it. Pat held him while I made us breakfast and then lunch, started laundry and cleaned the kitchen. Ryder is now peacefully watching his dad watch tv while he swings back and forth and listens to music. His eyes fluttering shut and trying to open them again. He smiles quietly and makes sweet coos. He is one of the sweetest most beautiful babies and I'm so lucky God has let me have him to take care of for this short amount of time.
I have been searching for churches in the area that Pat and I can go to. I thought I had found one that had an evening service, but they don't allow big bags in the sanctuary (ie a diaper bag) and I dont want to leave him in a class yet because 1. he hasn't had all his shots yet and 2. I don't really trust anyone else...especially people I dont know.
Pat's holding Ryder making him stand up on daddy's lap and Ryder is not happy about it. I love watching them together. Seeing Pat love on Ryder and bond with him makes me smile. It's hard to listen to that little boy cry. Not only does it hurt my ears because he has such a high pitch shriek but he's my baby and I don't want him to cry...I guess that's why I wont leave him with anyone because I don't want him crying somewhere where I can't easily pick him up...
Well...off to clean the rest of the house...

Walking Up and Down...

It's amazing to me the things that we do for our children. I was never a morning person before Ryder, but now I get up at 2:30 am and 4:30 am and 6 am whether or not he does. I'm more concerned that he's happy, fed and smiling than I am about whether or not I'm showered and smell good *or at least not bad* I'm up until 11:30pm every night to make sure that he is sound asleep and still breathing.

The other night I laughed as Pat walked up and down the stairs for thirty minutes trying to get our sweet boy to sleep. Up and down, up and down...his thighs burning but he never stopped...we would climb any mountain for this tiny being that God has so blessed us with. Tonight, he's walking in the dark in the kitchen with Ryder, who is quiet but not asleep. He sings sweet lullabies to him and holds him close to his chest so that Ryder can feel safe and warm and hear his heart beat. He holds his breath just to change a dirty diaper (a smell which apparently disturbs him a lot).
Ryder has turned our worlds upside down, for the better. Though, Pat and I turned our family's worlds upside down with a single phone call about 9 months ago. I'm sure we were judged and looked down on, too from those who "knew us". But, even then I didn't care what other people thought. Pat and I went through so much to bring this little boy into our lives. I don't think God looks down on us...we've been forgiven because we've been saved. Christ walked up that hill with MY cross on his back so that I wouldn't have to carry it anymore. God was not freaking out because I had messed up His plan. He knew Ryder before he was conceived. He knew Ryder before I was conceived. His love and His power amaze me. That my God could love me enough to turn a hard situation (hard-not wrong) into something so amazing and bless me with such a beautiful baby boy is awe inspiring and I thank him everyday when I see that little boy look into my eyes or feel him wrap his little hand around my finger. When I think about how precious this gift is from God-the least I can do is walk up and down the stairs...