Can You Feel the Love Tonight?

Listening to the lyrics of this classic "Lion King" ballad really got me thinking today. Pat and I have come so far from last summer-well from the beginning of our relationship. I could not ask for a better husband or father to my son. He makes me believe the best in people and I love sitting and staring into his eyes and to watch him sleep (is that creepy? lol) I've always like this song and use to want to dance to it at my wedding, one day. Because of choices we made, that won't happen (though I don't regret it.) Like the words of the song...It's enough for me just to be with my husband and my son-that we got this far. I don't have to have a white dress-I just wanted Pat standing next to me, and that's what I got, and that is what was important. He and I had waited soooo long to see each other. That deployment was one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. Im so glad he came home safe.

Here are an abundance of pictures that have brought us to where we are today-as a family (though it is really only a SMALL fraction of what I have)-

Baby Bear

I started singing the chorus of this song to Ryder at night to get him to go to sleep. He has colic at night so I have to walk with him and I sing different songs to him to pass the time. I downloaded Elton John's version on iTunes, as well as some other slow Disney songs. Ryder absolutely loves Elton John's voice -I do, too- I think he likes males voices in general. The soothing music and his crooning always lulls my baby to sleep. I keep my iPod in his room and it plays his favorite songs all night and helps keep/put him to sleep. (Pretty smart idea if I say so myself, HAHA)

This song means a lot to me and I love the way Elton John sings it to my Baby Bear at night---wish I could sing like that:)

BABIES, BABIES, BABIES!!!!

As I get older, my friends and I are entering the times in our lives where we are getting married and having BABIES. Madison, Katie, Ashley and I have already had our sweet boys this year and I have three more friends who are still pregnant. One with a boy, one with a girl, and one just announced recently and so it is still unknown (YAY LAURA!)
Seeing pictures of baby bumps, ultrasounds, and pregnancy photoshoots makes me think back about being pregnant with Ryder. I am so excited for my friends to experience everything I have been through-though each pregnancy is different-It also makes me miss those experiences. I love looking at ultrasounds and thinking about the phone call where I told Pat we were having a son.

 He was soooo excited and jumping up and down. I could here him smiling from the other side of the world. I miss feeling Ryder move from the inside. Those sweet little kicks and punches that always seemed to catch me by surprise (which weren't always so sweet in the end haha). I loved sitting in the office at VS and seeing his foot push out by my ribs and seeing an elbow move across my stomach. I even miss those ANNOYING hiccups I felt at all hours of the day and night haha. Most of all, I miss seeing how much my baby had grown at every doctor appointment. I never thought I would be thankful to have diabetes, but I was when I found out that because of it I would get pictures at every appointment. God knew what he was doing 20 years ago when he allowed me to get this disease. I was able to send the recordings and pictures to Pat (on the other side of the world) so he wouldn't miss out on everything. I am so thankful that my friends have their significant others with them during this time.
As much as I miss the experiences during my pregnancy (well my 2nd trimester) I do remember all of the complaining that I did haha. It was rough in the end. That boy started to GROW and I quit sleeping and started to swell. But it was so worth it!
I love being able to walk in his room in the morning and see him smile when he sees me. I love that I can actually here him laugh and giggle and coo now. There is nothing sweeter than actually feeling that sweet baby wrap his hand around my finger.
I am so excited for my friends. You are in for the best, craziest ride of your life!
Here are a few pictures of the beginning of ours...

You'll Be in My Heart

Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand Hold it tight

I will protect you
from all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

For one so small,
you seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always

Why can't they understand
the way we feel
They just don't trust
what they can't explain
I know we're different but,
deep inside us
We're not that different at all

And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know
We need each other,
to have, to hold
They'll see in time
I know

When destiny calls you
You must be strong
I may not be with you
But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on,
Now and forever more

Oh, you'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be in my heart, always
Always

 

A Moment to Myself

My thoughts are all over the place at this moment, so...I'll just write in the order that they're coming...
My mom left on Friday afternoon. It was harder this time than last, I guess because we both knew it would be much longer before we saw each other again. It's with both of our families being on the other side of the country. The last time Pat's family saw Ryder, he was just about to turn 3 weeks old. He will be 12 weeks tomorrow. He has grown so much in those 9 weeks.

Right after Ryder was born

Almost 3 weeks old

11 weeks old

11 weeks old

Ryder is like a little boy now. Well, not really haha but compared to 2 months ago he is. And it makes me sad that his aunts and uncles and cousins can't see him and get to know him and see how funny he is. I also miss seeing my nieces and nephews. Carter is growing so quickly! Lily and Kemp are going into 2nd and 1st grade. Daisy and Powell are almost 4 and Blakely is getting bigger, too. I know how lucky Pat and I are to have a close family, but having a physical distance between us is hard.

I think I am going to try and take Ryder either to Orlando or Nebraska to see my family again in the next few weeks. I am also currently trying to find a free way (Space A) to get to Alabama to see my sister and my in laws. Praying that these hopes come to fruition (is that the right spelling? haha)
Friday, before my mom left, I had an endocrinologist appointment for my Diabetes. My a1C was 7.1. While I was pregnant it was 6.4, so it is slowly climbing up and I need it back below 6. I am starting to check my blood sugar more each day so I am not constantly chasing them. I KNOW what I have to do. My problem is actually doing it. But it's not just about me anymore. If something happened to me, I have no idea what Pat would do, haha. He is lost when it comes to getting Ryder to stop crying and to go to bed:) But I love seeing him hold his son. It is one of the sweetest things in the world. And I love seeing Ryder smile when I go to pick him up. So I am taking my Diabetes head on and I'm going to kick it's a** and control it and not let it control me.

While on FB tonight, I found a link on a friends page to another blog. It broke my heart to see the pain this little boy is in. Immediately, my heart started praying...not just my words...but my soul sent prayers to God for Tripp. There are so many things that could have "happened" to me or Ryder...that could still happen to any of the three of us...but God is faithful and has blessed me with so much. I'm posting the link to this blog and asking that you will also pray for Tripp.

http://randycourtneytripproth.blogspot.com/

Well, I am off to bed and thanking God for all the things he has blessed me with.

Love you all.