And We're Back

We have spent the last 12 days in Orlando, visiting my parents (Ryder's Mena and Papaw). My brother was in town and my sister came to visit, too. My father had to work in NE until Thursday so we only got to see him for 2 1/2 days, but it was so good to be home. We hadn't been back since October of last year and BOY! has Ryder changed! I think everyone was surprised to see what a little boy he is now compared to that baby they saw last. 

We spent the weekend with my sister SHOPPING AT THE OUTLETS! We have outlets here, but there is something special about the Orlando outlets. I do believe they are better than any others. Especially the Janie and Jack and the Victoria's Secret outlet. I got some amazing sweatpants for about $17. SAY WHAT?! you say...yes, $17 for a pair of super soft boyfriend pants...however I did get a size too big so I've got to go to the ones out here and find smaller sizes. I also have a friend from Birmingham making a workout top for me that says "Sweating for His Homecoming". I got a size too big in that top, too, so I've got to go get a smaller one. Ya'll should definitely check out her page, Tootlebugs on Etsy or Tootlebugs on Facebook. She has some great things and reasonable prices!!! I just got the most adorable bracelet from my SIL. It's red with white polkadots and has a blue anchor with my initials in yellow....I'll post pics of it soon when I unpack.

Back to our trip. We were going to go to the beach with my aunt and cousin one day, but my cousin got sick and we ended up going to a local Community Park which as a little splash pad in it...RYDER LOVED IT!!!!!!!

We went to Panera to eat after. Ryder is a sucker for their macaroni and cheese...or their "CHEESE!". He fell asleep on the way home and didn't even wake when I got him out of the car to put him down for a nap. He played in the pool with my aunt afterwards. Boy does that kid think he is a big boy! Loves trying to swim by himself, kicking his legs and moving his arms. 

We had a little birthday party for Ryder and ordered 4Rivers BBQ, which, if you're in the central Florida area, you HAVE TO TRY. It's some of the best you will ever have. Their brisket is amazing! Pulled chicken-AMAZING! Coleslaw, BAKED BEANS, green beans, mac n cheese (per Ryder)-AMAZING. And my cousin was raving about their bread pudding....anyway....You have to try it.... It was nice to have some family around and get to celebrate Ryder's and Katie's birthdays. 

It was great to have almost 2 weeks off to not have to do anything and to be able to lay out by the pool and get a small tan. I really think, if I won the huge lottery in FL, or found a money tree (bother are just as

realistic as the other...), I could be a stay at home mom and go to the gym, go to the outlets, and lay out by the pool all day. I really don't think I could get bored. It was so relaxing. It's definitely my goal to get back to Windermere. The weather is perfect and the humidity really wasn't that bad, especially next to the pool haha.
Well, it's back to the grind, starting tomorrow. My sister is coming to visit on Thursday, so between now and then and in between classes and gym (when I have time these first two weeks) and taking Ryder to school, I've got to unpack, put clothes up that I washed and folded from BEFORE I left and pick up and wash sheets. We are very excited to have both Aunt Katie AND Uncle Andrew come to see us! Ryder loves them both so much and will be so excited to have them here! (Ya'll just don't judge when my house isn't completely picked up. It's not dirty, by any means, it's just "lived-in", organized chaos if you will haha).
Until next time...

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This Mother's Day -

I took this from a friend's blog. It spoke to me and I wanted to share. You can find her site and learn more about her, her family, and her journey into motherhood by clicking here Waiting On A Word

On this Mother's Day.....

To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you

To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you

To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you

To those who experienced loss this year through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you

To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.

To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you

To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you

To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you

To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you

To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience

To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst

To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you

And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you

This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.

When Things Get Twisted

I am often horrified how people can use the Bible and God's Word for their own agendas. Taking 1 verse out of context and twisting it's meaning.
To my Alabama friends, Westboro Baptist Church is heading to Tuscaloosa soon. I'm not sure what the "Christian thing to do is", but since I'm not there, I'm praying that no violence erupts and that someone in their group can see Christ's love through the students and Alabama citizens that live there...
This is from their website on why they are heading to T-Town....

University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa, AL    May 18, 2013  12:00 PM - 12:30 PM

Westboro Baptist Church will picket the University of Alabama to remind them of the wrath of God that visited them two years ago, wherein they did not have finals, and their graduation exercises were cancelled. 

That whirlwind came from God. Praise His name for it, then fear and obey that God who is able to whip up a whirlwind on a dime! Call this time, between your last GodSmack and your NEXT GodSmack, space for repentance!

We saw the young man, a student from the University of Alabama all over the national nightly news describing the event, including this:  "I opened my door, and there was the Wrath of God looking me in the face." He went on to describe the horrors of it, and the death and mayhem that came with it. If that does not teach you to fear and obey that glorious and wonderful name, The Lord Thy God, WHAT WILL?!

The duty of all humans is to fear God and keep His commandments! This nation will not, and you have added to your other massive crimes against God, this:  Same sex marriage.  God will not have it.  You really "smart" University people should have offered a PhD in The Flood, and it should have included an entire semester on the last offense against God before he sent that flood to WIPE OUT the entire earth, except the eight who were in the Ark, to wit:  Same Sex Marriage!

And as it was in the days of Noe, so shall it be also in the days of the Son of man.  They did eat, they drank, they married wives, they were given in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark, and the flood came, and destroyed them all.  Likewise also as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they builded; But the same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all. Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed. (Luke 17:26-30.)

So, the take away points for today class, to wit:  The Lord is coming! America is Doomed!

My heart hurts for all of my friends and family who went through these tornadoes. I truly believe that God does not send destruction upon His people, but allowed it to happen to bring people closer to Him. As I sat alone in my room, my in-laws literally next door to me, I had no one else to go to except God. He brought me and Ryder and my family through those tornadoes without any harm done to us or our homes. To me, He showed His awesome power and love and grace, not hate and anger. 

I ask that you pray for the group of people who posted the above excerpt. (I think most of us know what they have said about other topics) Satan is at work in our country, but God has won the war.

The Day I Knew...

Still going through my old blog and my 2nd to last post was the night I found out I was pregnant with Ryder. I had left dinner at Pat's parent's house. Katie had come to visit - she had recently found out she was pregnant. Pat's mom was talking about the journals she had kept while pregnant with her 2 youngest children (she had mentioned them before). She was talking about how she had recently given Katie the one she kept while pregnant with her and said she would pull the one out she had kept while pregnant with Pat when he and I reached that point in our relationship (something she had also mentioned before and that I held close to my heart. It meant a lot that she could see me as her DIL and mother to her grandchildren)
I had been nervous and thought I could be pregnant and had been praying to God to give me strength and send me a sign if I needed to go and buy a test. (I had said this prayer a few times and sent it up once more while the three girls were sitting outside on the porch). All of the sudden, Pat's mom said, "I can't wait any longer. I'm just going to give it to you now."  BA-BAM!!!!! That was my sign. My heart started pounding and I knew a test wasn't necessary but, after leaving, I went and bought 6 anyway....9 months later, I got Ryder.... Anyway...this is my post from that fateful night, September 14, 2010. (There's obviously no mention of the test because I wrote the entry before dinner...)

Well, Patrick has officially left for his deployment. To where? I can't say. For how long? I can't say. I want him to come home already :) He called me when I was at work before he left to say "I love you." I'm still hanging on to those last words he said because I don't know how long it will be until I get to talk to him again. I don't know about phone service or internet access or when he'll start recieving mail. OOOO the frustration of the unknown--but such is life and we can only hold on to God as we deal with what we have been given. I also got to talk to him for about 2 hours the night before he left. It was so nice to have some quality time with him and be able to talk for an extended period of time. He seemed so excited, and a little nervous, to finally be leaving. I know we are all ready for him to come home--the sooner he left the sooner those X months are over:)
I am so excited to talk to Pat to hear about what he has done and what he has seen. I hope he takes a lot of pictures and brings them home so I can see where he was on this deployment where the Navy has made him leave me behind :( But it really isnt that long that he is gone. He and I have the rest of our lives to be together, so what is another X months, weeks, days or even years. Just knowing I'm his and that we love each other is enough right now.  (No pressure Patrick I promise:) )
Tonight, I am headed over to Pat's mom's house for dinner. So excited for some good food! I'm excited to show her the original version of the video I made of me and Pat--the one I posted on the last entry skipped some transitions and it went too fast. I've been watching it over and over. The words to that song mean so much to me. They describe how I feel about my Sailor and how much I love him. I'm all about being sappy and romantic right now since he left haha. I'm sure it gets annoying to some people but it is how I feel right now. 
So, for now, I'm counting down until my graduation (3 months and 4 days) and Bebe Cullen!!!!! Katie is due in April and I couldn't be more excited. I can't wait to find out if "it" is a girl or a boy and start buying clothes!! (Yes, I am a shopping addict and Patrick is trying to break me of this. It's hard--but since I'm having to pay my bills I'm getting better) But I can't wait to buy some necessities for this new baby--as in rhinestone passies and toys and cute clothes :) Ill just send the bill to Pat, I mean its for his niece or nephew, so that's alright, right? haha
I LOVE YOU PATRICK



This is the very last post I wrote....It was written a few hours before I got to talk to Pat and let him know he was going to be a dad (scared the -ish out of him)


Tonight was really hard. After work I came home and finished my resume and cover letter for a class assignment then started writing to Pat. I've been doing really well since he has left. I've kept myself busy and haven't had much time to think about how much I really, truly miss him. I've been soooo excited to hear from him about his adventure on the sea. I mean, honestly, he's going places I've never even heard of, much less seen pictures of and I cant wait to see pictures that he takes and puts on facebook or brings home with him.
 Well, after all my work was done tonight, I started to go through pictures of us to put to an older SHEdaisy song I "reheard". UMMMM--it's great for me when I go through pictures of us and write to him and in my journal. What a way to express yourself by writing things to people you know they will never read! HAHA Tonight, though, was hard. I miss having him here and being able to look into his eyes while he has his hands around my waist. I miss his sweet, soft kisses and the way our hands fit together. I miss listening to his heart beat and the sound of him breathing. I miss his smile--oh how it can light up a room and brighten my day. I miss his laugh. Oh, if you could just hear it--it is absolutely contagious! (Did i spell that right? lol) I miss his eyes and how pretty they look in his new light blue AE polo shirt. I miss feeling his "scruff" against my cheek when he whispers "I love you" to me. I miss how my arm tucks right under his as we walk or whenever he pulls me into him, how he calls me his angel and always answers the phone "Hello beautiful," and he really means it. I miss how I can never get upset with him or even dream of being mad at him because he can always make me laugh. I know this silence between us is only temporary--and I'm so thankful that it is--but tonight, in this moment, I miss my sailor and my hero.
I've been lucky enough to have two friends who are going through similar situations with a husband and boyfriend in the military. To hear that what you're feeling is normal and that there are others that you know that are going through the same thing is a big help. I also have his family so close by. Being around them, seeing pictures of him with all of them, and hearing stories makes it seem like he hasn't actually left, like he's just stepped out to run to the mall-lol. A 30 minute errand, not an X month deployment--
OOOOO I cannot wait until he gets home! It hasn't been that long and I'm already counting down the days:) (Graduation is the first countdown, Bebe Cullen is the second and his homecoming is the third!!! I love staying busy with countdowns) I'm also simply taking one day at a time with school, work, my internship, and PAYING OFF ALL debt (ewwww I hate admitting to that--but admitting there is a problem is the first step right?) Patrick's deployment gives me time to focus on me before WE have to focus on US.  
God is holding my hand and has His arms around Patrick, I know Who holds our futures--

I still imagine your touch
It's beautiful missing something that much

But sometimes love needs a fighting chance

So I'll wait my turn until it's our turn to dance

Until...

I was looking at my old blog (I quit writing on it b/c of a cray-cray stalker) and found this little gem I wrote when Pat and I were dating....

If there's one thing I've learned

It's what I really want

What love really is

I never thought you'd come

But He put you in my life

No chains to bind

No strings attached

You never gave up

Always believing in me

and what we could be

Never knew it could be this true 

Until you held me in your arms....

Bye Bye Blackie

So, daddy got Ryder a hamster a few months back. When he was home, he cleaned the cage and I got to enjoy Ryder's reactions and happy screams when he would see her. Now, daddy is gone but the cage isn't and I have to clean it. I wasn't happy but I got through it (with lots of complaining to a select few). I even mentioned letting her go outside.
Now I feel horrible, because she is in the back corner of her cage laying down and hasn't moved for awhile but I don't want to check her to see if she's still alive. HELP! I need a guy to do this haha. I guess I am just going to take the whole cage to the dumpster tomorrow. I'm not really sure what else to do.
RIP Blackie

Naps

...are always better with a cuddle buddy