Consider it Pure Joy...

My devotional tonight, on my son's birthday, struck a cord in my heart...I am going to type it for you and then explain why this one really hit home...

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2-3

'The book of James is an interesting book...If its guidelines are followed, they can make a radical difference in our lives.

James talks about trials...[about] the many kinds of difficulties that come into our lives. Some of them happen because of circumstances beyond our control, and others we bring on ourselves because of [choices we've made and] sin. When he talks about joy, he's not talking about happiness or pleasure...[but] a sense of gladness. It is the ability to look beyond the problem or difficulty and see the opportunity for growth. it means discovering how God can be glorified through what we are experiencing.

James tells us to consider trials a joy. "Considering" is a matter of attitude, making a choice about how you will respond to your trials. It is a decision to endure because of your desire to do the will of God. It is a choice to complete the will of God IN SPITE OF what it costs you. You're not denying the trial, you're realistically facing it and in time turning the heartache into joy. And the result is perseverance or endurance.

Yes, it is possible to actually experience an inner peace while your world is crumbling around you...'

Find joy in trials...SAY WHAT?!?! How is that possible. Nobody finds joys in a crisis. 1 1/2 years ago and I would have agreed with you...but then I got pregnant. If you know me, you know I wasn't married when this happened. If you know my family (and my husband's family) you know that this was not easy news to deliver. Not only were we not married, but Pat was deployed and I was left alone to deal with the pregnancy and face the disappointment of our families. (They never stopped loving us through it) What was worse, for me at least, was that I was torn. I was so excited and happy and felt so blessed that I was pregnant and God had chosen me for a specific little life but my world was slowly collapsing and I had no support to keep those walls from falling down. Throughout my pregnancy I kept a positive attitude because I kept God near me, but please don't think for a second that just because I had Him near me that it was easy. Telling our parents and hearing the disappointment in their voices was devastating. Not having graduated from college or having a true home of my own or a salaried job with healthcare made me feel like I was drowning. I cannot put in to words the panic I felt in the beginning (and, honestly, still do to this day). But, through it all, I could see God's hand and see His work being done. Everyday I woke up without morning sickness, every time I looked at my sweet baby in an ultrasound picture, and every time I felt a nudge/punch/kick, I knew how truly blessed I was and that God was going to provide for all of the unknowns. When I would cry myself to sleep at night from being scared or lonely, Ryder would, faithfully, give me a nudge/punch/kick to let me know he was there. I knew that was God's way of telling me He was there, too. 

If you have doubts or questions about whether God is really there, just look at me. There is no way I could have made it through my pregnancy without my boyfriend/fiance/husband and, all the while, finishing my last semester of college, working full time, and having a full time internship. I have never felt more close to God than I have since I got pregnant. That crisis not only gave me perseverance and strengthened my faith, but it taught me how important my attitude is. I had a peace about it. I knew people would yell and some would be disappointed and might not talk to me for awhile, but I knew that once people saw Ryder-they would be just as happy and excited as I was (and they were). And here I am today, with a husband I am completely in love with, a beautiful baby boy, a wonderful home, and back in school for something I really love:)

I serve an AWESOME God!

New Life...New Blog

It's been about 9 months since I have posted anything on any website except for Facebook...ALOT has changed...September 16 of last year, Pat and I found out we were going to have a baby...our "story" had a huge twist to it and we were nervous about telling our families. Of course, everyone was shocked and they each had to deal with the news in their own way. Eventually, we all got through it and everyone started to get just as excited about this new baby as we were.
Only a few weeks before we found out we were expecting, Pat's sister announced she would be having a baby in mid April. We were so excited for her. She had been praying for this baby and God answered them:) When I found out about our little bundle I was so excited to have someone to go through this new experience with and to have someone I could turn to with questions since she was about a month ahead of me.
But we had to wait before we broke the news to everyone. Parents needed time to heal and accept this shock and Pat and I had to figure out how we wanted the world to find out. Eventually, everyone knew and supported us both. We wanted to "make things right" (I honestly don't like the way that sounds) and get married, but Pat had just left to go back to base and then immediately had left for a 9 month deployment. I was so nervous he wouldnt make it back in time for the birth of our child and I spent many nights praying that this deployment would be shorter than we had originally thought and planned for...
We spent many phone conversations talking about what we were going to do. My parents offered to fly me all over the world to the different ports that Pat was at just so we could get married and "make things right". I got so frustrated because I was so excited to be pregnant (and scared and nervous and anxious) and I just wanted support from my parents in that moment. Pat was gone for the time being and I was going through all of this alone, on top of working full-time, school full-time, and an internship. My life was overwhelming and I didn't know who I could turn to. Everyone seemed to be so upset with "the situation" that they couldn't see I was desperately looking for someone to help me figure out what to do.
In walks an angel--my sister. We have a typical relationship...we love each other and prove it through harsh words sometimes. She was there for me when I needed her...she went to docter appointments with me and comforted me when I needed to cry...all while planning her own wedding. I'll never forget all that she did for me in these past months.

Doctor appointment #1 wasn't bad at all. The first ultrasound was amazing. (See posted above) I was able to hear my child's heartbeat at only 6 weeks along! We discussed diet, Diabetes, vitamins, etc and I got all the prescriptions I could stand. I talked with a nurse about all the paperwork I had to do and the foods and medicins I could/couldn't eat. All in all, it was a simple appointment that lasted about 3.5 hours. (Work was a real pain about letting me have off at for this. I was at AE as an assistant manager, and the temp. SM was not someone I would ever work for again, to say the least). Regardless, I couldn't believe that I was witnessing a miracle right in front of my eyes and that I was helping God in the creation of it. He truly is amazing in His works and His plans. To create something so amazing as a life is something only He could do...science is NOT enough to explain it...
Doctor appointment #2 and the rest of our story to come...