Consider it Pure Joy...

My devotional tonight, on my son's birthday, struck a cord in my heart...I am going to type it for you and then explain why this one really hit home...

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2-3

'The book of James is an interesting book...If its guidelines are followed, they can make a radical difference in our lives.

James talks about trials...[about] the many kinds of difficulties that come into our lives. Some of them happen because of circumstances beyond our control, and others we bring on ourselves because of [choices we've made and] sin. When he talks about joy, he's not talking about happiness or pleasure...[but] a sense of gladness. It is the ability to look beyond the problem or difficulty and see the opportunity for growth. it means discovering how God can be glorified through what we are experiencing.

James tells us to consider trials a joy. "Considering" is a matter of attitude, making a choice about how you will respond to your trials. It is a decision to endure because of your desire to do the will of God. It is a choice to complete the will of God IN SPITE OF what it costs you. You're not denying the trial, you're realistically facing it and in time turning the heartache into joy. And the result is perseverance or endurance.

Yes, it is possible to actually experience an inner peace while your world is crumbling around you...'

Find joy in trials...SAY WHAT?!?! How is that possible. Nobody finds joys in a crisis. 1 1/2 years ago and I would have agreed with you...but then I got pregnant. If you know me, you know I wasn't married when this happened. If you know my family (and my husband's family) you know that this was not easy news to deliver. Not only were we not married, but Pat was deployed and I was left alone to deal with the pregnancy and face the disappointment of our families. (They never stopped loving us through it) What was worse, for me at least, was that I was torn. I was so excited and happy and felt so blessed that I was pregnant and God had chosen me for a specific little life but my world was slowly collapsing and I had no support to keep those walls from falling down. Throughout my pregnancy I kept a positive attitude because I kept God near me, but please don't think for a second that just because I had Him near me that it was easy. Telling our parents and hearing the disappointment in their voices was devastating. Not having graduated from college or having a true home of my own or a salaried job with healthcare made me feel like I was drowning. I cannot put in to words the panic I felt in the beginning (and, honestly, still do to this day). But, through it all, I could see God's hand and see His work being done. Everyday I woke up without morning sickness, every time I looked at my sweet baby in an ultrasound picture, and every time I felt a nudge/punch/kick, I knew how truly blessed I was and that God was going to provide for all of the unknowns. When I would cry myself to sleep at night from being scared or lonely, Ryder would, faithfully, give me a nudge/punch/kick to let me know he was there. I knew that was God's way of telling me He was there, too. 

If you have doubts or questions about whether God is really there, just look at me. There is no way I could have made it through my pregnancy without my boyfriend/fiance/husband and, all the while, finishing my last semester of college, working full time, and having a full time internship. I have never felt more close to God than I have since I got pregnant. That crisis not only gave me perseverance and strengthened my faith, but it taught me how important my attitude is. I had a peace about it. I knew people would yell and some would be disappointed and might not talk to me for awhile, but I knew that once people saw Ryder-they would be just as happy and excited as I was (and they were). And here I am today, with a husband I am completely in love with, a beautiful baby boy, a wonderful home, and back in school for something I really love:)

I serve an AWESOME God!

Do Not Be Afraid

So I have been reading a daily devotional recently called Quiet Times for Couples by H. Norman Wright. Pat and I are not, currently, reading it together, but that is okay. I am praying he will want to soon but until then, I will read and pray for the both of us and try to be the best example I can be. Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy Jude 24. I want to be an Earthly example of what Christ was to us. My desire is that I can help to keep Pat, my spouse, from stumbling.

ANYWAY....I read a piece recently about worrying. I know a lot of us do it, myself included because, well, with adulthood comes worry...I thought I would share this one with you...I will continue to post what I have read every once in awhile because I think we can all use a good reminder that God is here and can be our comforter, healer, savior, protector and Father....

"They...cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus said to them, "Take courage. It is I. Don't be afraid." Matthew 14:26-27

"Pay attention! Look at me! Give me your undivided attention!" These are common phrases which teachers, parents, and even spouses say to each other. Focusing your attention on a person helps you recieve what that person has to offer. It keeps you from being distracted.

One of the greatest distractions in life is worry. The tendency to ask 'what if?' again and again keeps us from resolving problems. What are some of your worries?

As Jesus walked on the water toward His disciples, He called Peter to climb out of the boat and walk to Him, which he did. Peter was doing fine until he lost hi focus and became distracted. He looked at the waves of the storm instead of keeping his eyes on Jesus. His fear rose and he began to sink.

Peter's situation has something to say to each of us. If he had kept his eyes upon Jesus, who was the source of his strength, Peter would have been alright. But his eyes strayed, and he was overwhelmed by the problem and crumbled.

Worry is like that. We concentrate too hard on the problem and forget the solution. This creates more difficulties. Some problems won't go away. Some concerns are legitimate. Sharing those concerns with Jesus and asking for His guidance will give us the ability to weather any storm.

Who is your focus on this week?

Baby Bowen

Recently, I learned that one of the women I have looked up to since I was a teenager was pregnant. (That makes her sound "old". but she isn't-she's only a few years older than me.) I just found out that she went into early labor at the end of January and had sweet baby Bowen 12 weeks early.
She and her husband have created a CaringBridge page to stay updated but she has been so busy (as any mom who has had a baby in the NICU can relate to) and has only been able to update a few times. Sweet baby boy has had his good days and his not so good days. He has grown some but is still struggling and needs some prayers. If you could please take a moment and lift up Baby B and his mommy and daddy right now, I know it would be greatly appreciated. I know that his blood gas levels are a prayer request as well as gas in his belly from his C PAP and also his PDA.
Baby Bowen, though I haven't met him yet, is a precious new life that I am absolutely in love with already and hope that you will take a minute to lift him up to God in your thoughts and prayers today.

My God is Awesome!!

SOOOO - I got an email from NACCRRA, finally. God is so good and his timing is just right. There was a small  "mistake" in that they listed Ryder as going full-time  (5 days a week -all day) and he is actually only going Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. But that is easily fixed and won't stop or delay me in filling out paperwork.
I was so worried that I would have to rush to do everything tonight and tomorrow morning, but, ONCE AGAIN, God stepped in to relieve my stress and burden. Pat took someone's watch and came home early today and doesn't have to be at work until tomorrow NIGHT!!! Which means, he can stay home with Ryder tomorrow morning while I go to school. I don't have to get up at 4:30am to get Ryder to daycare early to fill out paperwork. When I get home at 1130am, Pat will go with me to drop off Ryder so he knows where the daycare is and then we will come home and Pat can rest while I clean, do homework and get the rest of the things that I need for school.
A little faith, a little trust, no matter how hard it may be at times, how stressful it can be in the meantime, is so worth it and pays off EVERY TIME.

This week, at church, starts our Saturday night service. No excuses allowed!!! There is a service for everyone and Pat can even sleep in on Sundays, still. Also this weekend, starts the marriage sermon series. I believe the series is based off of the Love and Respect book. I have also registered for the Marriage Conference that takes place February 17 and 18. I am so thankful that this series is happening now. Pat and I have a great marriage...I am not going because we have issues...We are going to make our marriage BETTER and to keep our eyes on our number one priority-we want a God centered marriage...

I'm off to run more errands...the work of a mommy/wife/student/domestic goddess never ends

With A Heavy Heart

It's with a broken and heavy heart that I let you guys know that baby Tripp left his mommy's arms today. Though it is wonderful that he is no longer in pain and is now watching over his mommy-smiling, laughing, talking with Jesus, it is sad for those left behind, even those who never met him. I am crying writing this and watching Ryder play in front of me.

The only thing I keep thinking is ""I will rise when He calls my name. NO MORE SORROW NO MORE PAIN. I will rise on eagles wings, before my God fall on my knees..."

My Heart Aches

My heart is aching right now for a precious little boy and his mommy. Tripp Roth is suffering from a terrible, painful disease, E.B. I do not know much about it at all, nor am I claiming to. I have been following Courtney Roth's blog for a long time as she writes about the journey she has taken with Tripp as he fights a very painful battle. Tripp's skin is very fragile and he has very painful sores and blisters all over him. A single touch can be detrimental. How heartbreaking that much be for Courtney. Tripp has also had a trach in for a long time and his mommy doesn't even know what his cry sounds like, much less what it sounds like for him to say mommy.
Tripp has touched so many people's lives in his few short years on this planet, especially mine. I am finding myself sobbing right now trying to relate to Courtney and knowing I cant. Part of me doesn't want to be able to relate, to have to watch my baby suffer...and I feel guilty for that, though I know it is a human response. I hold Ryder so close to me, not wanting to let go. Hearing him fuss doesn't irritate me like it could. I am so grateful to be able to hear him fuss, cry, laugh, and babble.
Courtney has a strength and faith in God that I admire so much, though I know she is dying inside and would give anything to trade places with baby Tripp. But she knows that God has a plan for her and her sweet boy.
Her latest blog update is not a "good" one. It seems as though Tripp is starting to get tired of fighting and might not be with his mommy much longer. I cannot imagine what Courtney is feeling or thinking. Her blog says she knows that Heaven will be so much better for Tripp...No more sorrow, no more pain...but that doesn't make losing him any easier.
I am writing today to ask you to stop for a moment and send a quick prayer up for Tripp. Pray that God will give comfort to Tripp and peace. That his remaining time with his mommy and other loved family members is one that they will be able to cling to in these coming days.
If you have a moment, please read Courtney's blog and look through the pictures and even google E.B.
Courtney-You are amazing and my thoughts and prayers go out to you and that precious baby boy that you gave life to!!!!
Tripp's Story
The following pictures are from Courtney's blog and are of that sweet baby that I hope you will pray for

MY GOD LOVES ME

"Oh praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead..."
This morning, I watched Church of the Highlands online and one of the worship songs had this line in it. It is one of my favorites. My Jesus, my precious Savior, came from Heaven to be a man and died to save me from the sin that is in me. Now, when God looks down on me, He sees Jesus. I am made perfect through Him. Because of His love, I long to be more like Him, to have His love shine through me to others. I can now truly live in the freedom He has given me. I don't have to hold on to any of my baggage, any mistake, any shame, any regret. I can let it go. I can live and be happy where I am because He loves me and has brought me to this amazing place with my family. He has made everything good because He loves me.
MY GOD LOVES ME. He sent his Son to die for me. His ONLY Son. I am not sure I could let Ryder go. I KNOW I couldn't SEND Ryder to do that. I am forever thankful for that sacrifice. For the pain and suffering that Jesus went through so that I could have the chance to live eternally with Him.
My goal is to live each day for Christ...to live everyday so that people may have a glimpse of Christ's love through my actions...

He Will Come...

...like a thief in the night, NO ONE knows exactly when we will rise to meet Him or when he is coming back...but it will be wuick and we better be ready!!!
This past Spring, the South went through tornadoes like we have never had before. There was so much destruction in so many places...this past year, Japan had a horrible tsunami/earthquake and many many lives were lost....there are wars and RUMORS OF WARS in the middle east...and TODAY, there was an earthquake on the EAST COAST?????!!!!! WHAT? There are never earthquakes there...Think we aren't getting closer? Think again. "This is going to be trouble on a scale beyond what the world has ever seen, or will see again." (Matthew 24:21)
I know, recently, there was a lot of hooplah about the day the world would end and Christ was coming back...well, it didn't happen. As a Christian, were we really surprised? "But the exact day and hour? No one knows that, not even heaven's angels, not even the Son. Only the Father knows... You have no idea what day your Master will show up." (Matthew 24:36;41) hmmm...only God knows, and we have people guessing the date...and believers, born again believers, listening to them over what God has said.
We shouldn't doubt that it is coming though. Obviously we are closer and closer to it as each day passes. But I truly believe the beginning has already started...there are signs everywhere.
We are now able to use the internet, technology, airplanes, cars, boats, etc to reach more and more people all over the world. "...the good news...will be preached all over the world, a witness staked out in every country." (Matthew 24:14)
That's my thoughts for now...There are prophecies being fulfilled everyday and I truly believe God is starting the process.
Saturday night, at church, Dr. Ed Hinson said something that really made sense and was an AH-HAH moment... "Plan as though you have your WHOLE life to live for God-Live your life as though He is coming tonight."
Who knows...He could.
"

What If...

As you read this, I am afraid it is going to come across wrong so let me preface it by saying I am ABSOLUTELY 100% HAPPY with where I am and with my family and 150% in love with my husband and son...but, what if...
Still, I don't know of a little girl who doesn't dream about their wedding when they grow up. About the beautiful white dress they will wear...about their daddy walking them down the aisle and giving them away...about seeing their soon to be husbands face when he sees her all in white for the first time...about the first kiss and the first dance...about the cake. Lately, I have been thinking a lot, recently, about what I missed out on...what if...
When Nick Lachey's wedding came on tv, I started crying and had to change the channel. I can't watch "Say Yes to the Dress" or even "Bridezillas" without feeling disappointed and crying a few tears. I don't know what it is. I do not regret anything because I COULD NOT imagine my life without Ryder. He is my life and I love him to death...but what if...
What If....
I believe that God works out everything for the good of those who believe in Him and He definitely has. Our "situation" has brought me closer, not only to God, but to my family. I have had to rely on Him and them more than ever as I went through my pregnancy without Pat. I think God had planned for us to get married...but our decisions led us to that marriage without a wedding...and sometimes I can't help but feel like I missed out...