You To Miss

Some people try to hide 

They try to move on 

Can't stand the pain of you gone 

But baby that's not me 

I'd never try to ease the ache that I feel 

The pain reminds me how real 

This love has come to be 

And I'm not running scared 

I will stay right where 

I gave you my word 

That I would be 

And I don't want to hurt 

But I know I have to feel 

I do it to be close to you 

Just to keep you real 

And I don't want to cry 

But tears are part of life 

They conquer the impossible 

And make you feel alive 

And I'm so glad, my love 

That I have you to miss 

Some people try to fake 

They don't feel this 

Can't stand to face the realness 

So they just run away 

But I want nothing more than you to hold me 

To intimately know me 

So I'll hurt along the way 

And I'm not running scared 

I will stay right where 

I gave you my word 

That I would be 

And I don't want to hurt 

But I know I have to feel 

I do it to be close to you 

Just to keep you real 

And I don't want to cry 

But tears are part of life 

They conquer the impossible 

And make you feel alive 

And I'm so glad, my love 

That I have you to miss 

And it could never hurt so bad that I would trade the love we have 

And it could never cut so deep that I would ever want to leave 

And I don't want to hurt 

But I know I have to feel 

I do it to be close to you 

Just to keep you real 

And I don't want to cry 

But tears are part of life 

They conquer the impossible 

And make you feel alive 

And I'm so glad, my love 

That I have you to miss 

I'm so glad, my love that I have you to miss 

And I'm glad my love that I have you to miss

Some days...

Some days aren't so bad during deployments, but some days are tough. It's not always the whole day, sometimes it's just the nights. When Ryder does something to make me laugh and I turn to call and tell him to look or say 'can you believe he just said that?' Only to realize I'm talking to myself. And sometimes, I'm just tired and want to lay my head on his chest or just lay down and have my back rubbed....or have him give Ryder a bath (haha). You would think that 2 1/2 weeks in, I wouldn't keep making those mistakes, but I do.
I know that our men and women go through so much during deployment, but the ones left behind, I think, are often forgotten in the public eye. I am so thankful for my friends and for the support system I have here, but boy, I miss my husband.

Do Not Be Afraid

So I have been reading a daily devotional recently called Quiet Times for Couples by H. Norman Wright. Pat and I are not, currently, reading it together, but that is okay. I am praying he will want to soon but until then, I will read and pray for the both of us and try to be the best example I can be. Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy Jude 24. I want to be an Earthly example of what Christ was to us. My desire is that I can help to keep Pat, my spouse, from stumbling.

ANYWAY....I read a piece recently about worrying. I know a lot of us do it, myself included because, well, with adulthood comes worry...I thought I would share this one with you...I will continue to post what I have read every once in awhile because I think we can all use a good reminder that God is here and can be our comforter, healer, savior, protector and Father....

"They...cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus said to them, "Take courage. It is I. Don't be afraid." Matthew 14:26-27

"Pay attention! Look at me! Give me your undivided attention!" These are common phrases which teachers, parents, and even spouses say to each other. Focusing your attention on a person helps you recieve what that person has to offer. It keeps you from being distracted.

One of the greatest distractions in life is worry. The tendency to ask 'what if?' again and again keeps us from resolving problems. What are some of your worries?

As Jesus walked on the water toward His disciples, He called Peter to climb out of the boat and walk to Him, which he did. Peter was doing fine until he lost hi focus and became distracted. He looked at the waves of the storm instead of keeping his eyes on Jesus. His fear rose and he began to sink.

Peter's situation has something to say to each of us. If he had kept his eyes upon Jesus, who was the source of his strength, Peter would have been alright. But his eyes strayed, and he was overwhelmed by the problem and crumbled.

Worry is like that. We concentrate too hard on the problem and forget the solution. This creates more difficulties. Some problems won't go away. Some concerns are legitimate. Sharing those concerns with Jesus and asking for His guidance will give us the ability to weather any storm.

Who is your focus on this week?

A Quiet Anniversary

Today is my 1st wedding anniversary. I cannot believe that a year ago today Pat and I said I do in a small room with my parents and his family. As I sit here, so thankful for the man God brought into my life and allowed me to fall in love with, I cannot help but think about where I was a year and one week ago.
I was in the hospital (TWICE) trying to make sure that my sweet baby bear did not make his debut too early (as uncomfortable as I was starting to feel). I was so scared. I didn't have my family or Pat near me and often felt so alone. Thank God for my sister who stepped up and was there for me 100%. All I had to do-from day 1- was call her and she dropped everything and came to me. Katie-I love you and will never be able to thank you for everything you did for me, Ryder, and Pat.

Today is quiet, at least for now as Ryder is napping, and I am so thankful for all the blessings God has given me.

My Grass is Green...is yours?

I guess its easy to forget, sometimes, what is most important to you. What you value most. What your priorities are. You remind yourself about what you love, but when things become mundane and predictable, it's easy to wonder what color the grass is in your neighbor's yard. Sitting here, watching Ryder sleep, my world is complete and wonderful and whole. I never want to forget this feeling, the way my sweet Widdle makes me feel.
I pray you don't forget what is important to you and what makes you smile. Your grass is just as green as mine, and mine as green as yours...sometimes it might be a different shade of green or kind of grass-but it's green:)

With A Heavy Heart

It's with a broken and heavy heart that I let you guys know that baby Tripp left his mommy's arms today. Though it is wonderful that he is no longer in pain and is now watching over his mommy-smiling, laughing, talking with Jesus, it is sad for those left behind, even those who never met him. I am crying writing this and watching Ryder play in front of me.

The only thing I keep thinking is ""I will rise when He calls my name. NO MORE SORROW NO MORE PAIN. I will rise on eagles wings, before my God fall on my knees..."

Dear Ryder

I want you to know how much I love you. I hope you know how proud I am of you-how proud I am to call you my son. Know that my love for you is unconditional and it is forever. There is nothing you could ever do that could change the way that I feel for you, that would change how much I love you. My life started the day you were born. I loved you from the moment I knew I was going to have you but I never knew how much I could love someone until you were born and in my arms. You are my everything and I love you more and more every day. Your smile makes my day-EVERY DAY. When you reach out to me, my heart smiles. When I hear you say "mama", my heart melts. Watching you grow and learn is what I live for. Feeling your soft, sweet hand around my finger is the reason I get up.
Ryder Patrick Fry-I love you more than you will ever know. You are my life and my world and I will never give up on you and I will always protect you and keep you safe.

"No one will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like on the inside."

Happy Thanksgiving

From the West Coast, we would like to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving. I am so happy that my little family is together this Thanksgiving. Last year, Pat was deployed and we didn't know Ryder was going to be Ryder yet. Even though we are apart from our individual family of origins (yes-I just pulled out some verbage from Family Studies. Aren't you proud Trish? lol) we are very thankful that we are with each other and that we will see our families over Christmas.
Poor Baby Bear has been sick for 2 weeks with a runny nose. On Tuesday night, he started to cough, and this morning it seemed as though the cough was moving more into his chest and there was a lot of mucus coming up with it. Ryder smiles even through his discomfort. I know he feels miserable but he is such a trooper and my little angel.
Here are some pictures of our 1st Thanksgiving together....Ryder is taking a nap right now so I will have to post more pictures of him later.

All the fixings ready to be warmed up

Green Been Casserole and Cornbread

Ryder playing while mommy cooks

Daddy waiting on his Thanksgiving lunch

 Can I get a smile?

 There's a smile!!!

 Getting the table set up

 Daddy cutting the turkey

 "This Guy's Awesome"

 Mashed potatoes donated to us from Operation Homefront-THANK YOU

 Sweet Corn Pudding

 Homemade Banana Pudding with from scratch pudding and whip cream-YUMMO

 Our "Lunch for 2" haha

 Sweet Potato Casserole

MY GOD LOVES ME

"Oh praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead..."
This morning, I watched Church of the Highlands online and one of the worship songs had this line in it. It is one of my favorites. My Jesus, my precious Savior, came from Heaven to be a man and died to save me from the sin that is in me. Now, when God looks down on me, He sees Jesus. I am made perfect through Him. Because of His love, I long to be more like Him, to have His love shine through me to others. I can now truly live in the freedom He has given me. I don't have to hold on to any of my baggage, any mistake, any shame, any regret. I can let it go. I can live and be happy where I am because He loves me and has brought me to this amazing place with my family. He has made everything good because He loves me.
MY GOD LOVES ME. He sent his Son to die for me. His ONLY Son. I am not sure I could let Ryder go. I KNOW I couldn't SEND Ryder to do that. I am forever thankful for that sacrifice. For the pain and suffering that Jesus went through so that I could have the chance to live eternally with Him.
My goal is to live each day for Christ...to live everyday so that people may have a glimpse of Christ's love through my actions...