Some days...

Some days aren't so bad during deployments, but some days are tough. It's not always the whole day, sometimes it's just the nights. When Ryder does something to make me laugh and I turn to call and tell him to look or say 'can you believe he just said that?' Only to realize I'm talking to myself. And sometimes, I'm just tired and want to lay my head on his chest or just lay down and have my back rubbed....or have him give Ryder a bath (haha). You would think that 2 1/2 weeks in, I wouldn't keep making those mistakes, but I do.
I know that our men and women go through so much during deployment, but the ones left behind, I think, are often forgotten in the public eye. I am so thankful for my friends and for the support system I have here, but boy, I miss my husband.

It's Been Awhile

I haven't been on recently because I've been busy with school. Oh, how I loved this semester! We started our OB clinicals, and I think I have found my calling. I use to believe it was the NICU, but (for now at least) I want to be in L&D. I'm GOOD at it and I love the patients, mommies and babies! In fact, I've been volunteering as a doula at UCSD and helping mama's, both those that use pain meds and those that don't, get through labor and I'm currently working on my certification! (It has been one of the most rewarding things I have ever done!)
This semester is coming to a close. In fact, I am taking my finals on Monday and then taking the red eye to Orlando for 12 days. My parent's bought our tickets (yes, ticketS! Ryder is 2 TODAY so he has to have his own, full priced ticket now) because Mena can't stand to be away from him for so long. Pat left a little over 2 weeks ago for a __ month long deployment. (Now, ya'll know I can't tell you how long. Loose lips sink ships and keep the sailors away for longer) It will be nice to have some help with Ryder and to be able to sleep in and not have the same pressure and responsibility on my shoulders as when I'm in San Diego. I will say I'm a pretty strong person though. If it is thrown at me, I can pretty much handle it now. (Being pregnant with Ryder brought me closer to God than ever, as I've mentioned before, and it is all because of him that I can be a single mom for an extended period of time and let my husband go off to foreign places where people don't like us).
So, anyway....We're headed to Orlando in less than a week! Can't wait to take pictures, because we WILL be heading to Disney! We've taken Ryder before but he was just too little to really enjoy it. Now he can ride Dumbo and I'm pretty excited!
We had Ryder's 2nd birthday party last Saturday. The theme was Jake & the Never Land Pirates. It was so much fun to see the kids playing with bubbles, in the sandbox and with the outside toy sets. Toddlers are so funny together and I loved seeing the different ages and developmental stages together. (It was a lot of what my bachelor's degree focused on-I'm a nerd, I know) The pictures below are from the party.

One of my favorite mama's that allowed me to help her through her delivery!

Today, my baby is 2 years old. I'm in a really sentimental mood and looking back over his pictures. I can almost remember everything, though I'm sure I am missing a few pieces. I am so thankful the God chose me to be this little boy's mommy. He saved me. He changed my world and brought me to San Diego :) It is bittersweet to watch him grow up. He is talking ALL THE TIME now. And he is saying complete (short) sentences. We love playing with blocks, trains and cars. I usually have the tv on the Disney Channel in the background (I need noise now that Pat is gone) and Ryder knows the words to the songs to the intros of them. LOVE watching him pick up his ELMO guitar and sing and dance to music. It's hard to believe that at this time, 2 years ago, I was being admitted to the hospital, 100 lbs gained (thank you swelling-NOT) and freaking out because I was leaving the hospital with a baby.

My sister and BIL bought a house recently!!! So exciting We have some more exciting news and happenings in the coming year, so stay tuned!!!

Life has changed so much in the past 2 years 36 weeks and 6 days ;) And I am so thankful that it has. God has my family right where we're suppose to be

Day 1 of GranJan and Big T's Visit

Big T was so happy to see his grandson. I've never seen him smile this big before

Helping Big T open his gift

All of my pretty Pandora Charms

Elfie, our Elf that Santa sent us (via Aunt Jane). He watches over Ryder and then reports back to Santa (and gets into mischief at night)

Dinner at Flavor Del Mar

AMAZING place!!!!

GranJan and Ryder 

Playing with Big T and daddy

More pictures coming soon

Crazy, Hectic, Beautiful Life

So much has happened since my last blog post that I am honestly not even going to try and catch up. I've been so crazy busy-and I am loving every moment! I'm just going to start from now.
My in-laws came in to town to spend this past weekend with us. We are so thankful that they took time to come see us! With our families so far away, we feel like we are missing out on so much, and I know they feel like they are missing out on things, too, especially with Ryder.
Their first night here, we went to Flavor Del Mar A local restaurant that is AMAZING! There food was familiar but presentation and plates were different. The tastes were tantalizing and new yet homey all at the same time. I was particularly excited because they have the spicy Chicken-Coconut soup I miss so much from Surin, in Birmingham.

Saturday, we went to Sea World. Pat made some connections there, so we are able to go free and go "backstage". My favorite part is seeing the dolphins in the pools. There was a 5 week old with it's mama in one of them. That was my FAVORITE thing I've ever seen. (When my MIL gets home and posts her pictures, I will do another blog of those). The man Pat met, who works at SeaWorld and signs us in, is absolutely amazing. I cannot thank him enough. Ryder and Pat had NEVER been before, and they got to experience things that people pay 100s of dollars (per person) to do for shorter periods of time. THANK YOU, TIM!!!!

Daddy and Ryder checking out the toys, distracting GranJan so Mommy can buy some ornaments

Today, we went to church at Coastline. If you are in the SoCal area, and are looking for a church home, please try out Coastline! It may not be for you, but I have fallen in love with the people there and the view around the church. Give it a try...you got nothing to lose:)
Anyway, after church we went to Old Town to eat at Cafe Coyote. They have some grrrreeeeaaaatttt margaritas (and I don't drink much, so that's saying something). I got a taco salad and a pineapple chipotle margarita. We walked around for a little while after, enjoying the historic park and letting Ryder get out some of his energy.

Mommy and Ryder at Lunch

Ryder waiting on his food

Daddy and Ryder with Santa at Old Town

Mommy, Ryder and Big T at lunch at Cafe Coyote

Alright, you're caught up on this past weekend.
I have a midterm this Wednesday and then one next Wednesday, so I'll be plenty busy but I am planning on writing more. Pat and I are starting our healthy lifestyles again on December 19. I have been cooking (barely) horribly because of lack of time because of my pharmacology class...NO MORE EXCUSES. Ryder is the only one who has been eating a healthy, balanced diet haha....I WILL lose the remaining "baby weight"! And you get to join me on my journey:)

Consider it Pure Joy...

My devotional tonight, on my son's birthday, struck a cord in my heart...I am going to type it for you and then explain why this one really hit home...

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2-3

'The book of James is an interesting book...If its guidelines are followed, they can make a radical difference in our lives.

James talks about trials...[about] the many kinds of difficulties that come into our lives. Some of them happen because of circumstances beyond our control, and others we bring on ourselves because of [choices we've made and] sin. When he talks about joy, he's not talking about happiness or pleasure...[but] a sense of gladness. It is the ability to look beyond the problem or difficulty and see the opportunity for growth. it means discovering how God can be glorified through what we are experiencing.

James tells us to consider trials a joy. "Considering" is a matter of attitude, making a choice about how you will respond to your trials. It is a decision to endure because of your desire to do the will of God. It is a choice to complete the will of God IN SPITE OF what it costs you. You're not denying the trial, you're realistically facing it and in time turning the heartache into joy. And the result is perseverance or endurance.

Yes, it is possible to actually experience an inner peace while your world is crumbling around you...'

Find joy in trials...SAY WHAT?!?! How is that possible. Nobody finds joys in a crisis. 1 1/2 years ago and I would have agreed with you...but then I got pregnant. If you know me, you know I wasn't married when this happened. If you know my family (and my husband's family) you know that this was not easy news to deliver. Not only were we not married, but Pat was deployed and I was left alone to deal with the pregnancy and face the disappointment of our families. (They never stopped loving us through it) What was worse, for me at least, was that I was torn. I was so excited and happy and felt so blessed that I was pregnant and God had chosen me for a specific little life but my world was slowly collapsing and I had no support to keep those walls from falling down. Throughout my pregnancy I kept a positive attitude because I kept God near me, but please don't think for a second that just because I had Him near me that it was easy. Telling our parents and hearing the disappointment in their voices was devastating. Not having graduated from college or having a true home of my own or a salaried job with healthcare made me feel like I was drowning. I cannot put in to words the panic I felt in the beginning (and, honestly, still do to this day). But, through it all, I could see God's hand and see His work being done. Everyday I woke up without morning sickness, every time I looked at my sweet baby in an ultrasound picture, and every time I felt a nudge/punch/kick, I knew how truly blessed I was and that God was going to provide for all of the unknowns. When I would cry myself to sleep at night from being scared or lonely, Ryder would, faithfully, give me a nudge/punch/kick to let me know he was there. I knew that was God's way of telling me He was there, too. 

If you have doubts or questions about whether God is really there, just look at me. There is no way I could have made it through my pregnancy without my boyfriend/fiance/husband and, all the while, finishing my last semester of college, working full time, and having a full time internship. I have never felt more close to God than I have since I got pregnant. That crisis not only gave me perseverance and strengthened my faith, but it taught me how important my attitude is. I had a peace about it. I knew people would yell and some would be disappointed and might not talk to me for awhile, but I knew that once people saw Ryder-they would be just as happy and excited as I was (and they were). And here I am today, with a husband I am completely in love with, a beautiful baby boy, a wonderful home, and back in school for something I really love:)

I serve an AWESOME God!

A Year Ago

So, let's forget dates for a second and just think about days....a year ago, tomorrow morning (It was Monday May 2, 2011) I got up for an early morning appointment with my OB/GYN. It was at 8:30am and it was going to be the last one before my scheduled c-section on Friday, May 6, 2011 at 12pm. Pat would fly in sometime that week and Friday at 10am we would head to the hospital...God's plan was AWESOMELY different.
At my appointment on Monday, I did my pee sample like I had done 2 times a week for the past two months. I then got weighed and noticed that I had gained 18lbs from the last Thursday (for a total of 30 lbs in only ONE WEEK).
I had noticed swelling all weekend and had had a headache on Saturday. I also noticed stretch marks for the first time that week (AGH-I had made it 37 weeks without them and then BANG they were there). The swelling was so bad, actually, that after going to a baseball game with my sister on Sunday, May 1, I had to wait 3 hours to take my "skinny" pregnancy jeans off because they wouldn't pull down my thighs and had to actually cut the seams by my ankles because they wouldn't fit over them still. But-despite all of the signs-I never thought about pre-eclampsia. However, my doctor knew EXACTLY what was going on (thank God she went to med-school, ya know?) At 9:08 am, Dr. Gregory walked in to the room where I was hooked up to the non-stress test monitoring Ryder's heart rate, and she asked, "are you ready to have a baby?"
SAY WHAT?!?!?!?!
No I wasn't ready-that's why we had scheduled a c-section, so we would know EXACTLY when my baby bear would be here. My husband wasn't here, my mommy wasn't here, my dad wasn't here!!!! I sent out a massive text saying "He'll be here by 4:30" and I think most people thought I was talking about Pat and not Ryder, but when they figured it out-I got calls...I called my mom right away and let her know and she made sure to get on the first available flight (which was difficult because of all of the red-cross workers flying to Alabama for the previous week's HORRIBLE tornado damage). I then called my sister crying. Thank God she was there with me through the whole process. She was walking into a meeting but she came to my rescue and waited in my room with me until the epidural and was then in the OR with me during the c-section, holding my hand and taking pictures. She was the very first person to see my baby, besides the doctors and I am so thankful that she could be there...It was a day I (hopefully) will never forget-EVER-not one detail.

Is It The Bad Kind?

So, I'm hopping on top of my soap box for this post. Recently, I've read a lot of news articles and magazine articles pertaining to the childhood obesity epidemic and the rising problem of childhood Diabetes. I would like to take a minute and clarify this...there is not a rising problem of childhood diabetes but of TYPE 2 DIABETES in children.
The naming of Diabetes use to pertain to the age in which someone got it but now there needs to be more clarification. So let me help the public and give a little insight to the two extremely DIFFERENT diseases.
Type I Diabetes (that's what I have had for 21 years) is Insulin Dependent Diabetes. It is an auto-immune disease and it is NOT curable. It doesn't matter if you know someone who knows someone who was on insulin and then lost weight and went off of insulin...they did NOT have Type I Diabetes. This disease occurs because something goes wrong with the body's immune system and it attacks itself and kills all of the islet cells (which produce insulin) in the pancreas. No matter how much you exercise or how much lettuce you eat, those islet cells will NEVER start producing insulin again. EVER- EVER EVER.
Type 2 Diabetes use to be Adult-Onset. That is no longer the case with the rise in childhood obesity. Type 2 Diabetes is what everyone is talking about in the news now-NOT TYPE I-This disease occurs because one's body can no longer keep up with the production of insulin that their body needs to break down foods eaten into energy and the sugar remains in their blood. This could be caused by a number of things. It doesn't mean you're fat but you're diet definitely needs to change...This Disease IS curable with proper diet and exercise. If someone doesn't find out they have Type 2 or if they don't take care of it through a doctor prescribed regimen of pills, diet and exercise, they may have to go on insulin to help...however, they DO NOT have Type I Diabetes...they still have all their islet cells, their immune system has not killed them all and with proper care their body can start working again (though damage done to limbs, eyes, etc is not reversible usually)
Though the consequences are similar and they issues are similar- the diseases ARE NOT the same...
I got really frustrated while pregnant because, when I was hospitalized the first time, the nurses assumed I had Type 2 Diabetes and did not give me the insulin I needed when I needed it (which is all the time). Maybe it was because I started gaining so much weight at the end of my pregnancy (115 total) because of it and they assumed because I was now "fat" that I had Type 2 or maybe they were just ignorant (that should give you confidence in our healthcare workers...SARCASM) I wanted to let them know that 'I don't have Diabetes because I'm fat! I'm fat because I have TYPE I DIABETES and I'm pregnant' ... but I didn't say anything. And one of the doctors even asked me if I had "the bad kind". **ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!** He was a doctor-that was a dumb question. My OB ended up letting me stay on my pump the other 2 times I was in the hospital and let me take care of my Diabetes myself because I had a lot of issues that were caused by the 3 day 1st hospital stay of high blood sugars.
Let's re-cap...
There is no "bad kind"... Diabetes SUCKS (I have no better word to describe it, I'm sorry).
Type I Diabetes-->Insulin Dependent-->Auto-Immune-->NO CURE
Type 2 Diabetes-->caused from improper diet/lack of exercise/weight-->can be cured....

Thank you...have a good night

**If you have questions about Diabetes, I will be more than happy to answer them and if I don't know--I'll find it out**